I’ve watched this video about fifty times now, and I can’t get over how amazing 2018 was. Who knew documenting a few seconds each day would create such a fun memory.

I’ll be 31 in a few days, and I feel like I’m in such a weird place with my life right now. I can’t really explain it, but I just don’t feel like I’ve made much progress with myself as an individual. Looking back, I’ve wasted too much time trying to make artificial friendships work, even when they were long past the expiration date. I’ve wasted too much time trying to sculpt and manifest the perfect partner, only to have been so let down way too many times. I’ve realized that I shouldn’t depend on other people to make me a happier person, because at the end of it all, I will always have myself. I’ve wasted the last 10 years on others, the next 10 will be all for me.

I’m not going to make a list of resolutions, because I’ve learned that I don’t really follow them. I mean, does anyone really after the first few months? I’m not sure I’ve met someone that has completely stuck to their resolutions. Instead, I’m going to just focus on trying to be the best person that I know I can be. I want to live a happier and healthier life. I want to get into a career that actually feels fulfilling and rewarding. I can’t do what I do any longer, as the motivation there is no more, and each day my soul is drained a little bit more. I want to start my own business, what that is, I’m not sure yet. I’ve been feeling so creative and inspired the last couple of months, I need to manifest that into fruition, because I know if I put my all into these projects that I have thought about, I know I can be successful in doing them.

I’m excited to see where this year goes. I am hopeful for new beginnings, new meaningful friendships, a new career, new adventures, and a lot more firsts.

Sincerely,

Jay