I’ve been meaning to give a little update to what has been going on with me lately, but with the lack of time I’ve had lately, I haven’t been able to do so. SO, here we go…

I started a new job back in April. I’m so glad I took that jump to get out of my comfort zone, try something new, revisit old skeletons, and take a leap of faith. I’ve done okay with what I’ve been given, but I can honestly say that I am so unhappy being there, I’m starting to reevaluate where I’m at currently. I’ve gotten a promotion already, but I still have so much to learn, and I have no help there, and at times I feel like I’ve been setup for failure.

The last few months I’ve been treated by my management as if I don’t even exist. I thought I was being dramatic when I started thinking that, but my peers have all mentioned that to me in one way or another, it feels so awkward being the odd man out at times. I guess I’m just not really used to being someone that people once looked up to, and enjoyed my company to being this weird oddball out a lot of the time. I’m at my breaking point though, and not sure how much longer I will subject myself to this type of unprofessionalism. I’m so sick and tired of being there always in a not so cheerful mood, which isn’t like me at all, work should be fun too. I hate that I have to feel like I’m walking on eggshells around certain individuals, individuals I used to be rather friendly with, but how quickly that feeling has turned to disgust and deceit.

Is it so bad to just want to feel included, and feel like I can ask something without feeling stupid? I don’t think so. I feel like I should apologize to anyone that I’ve ever had to train at my previous job if I ever made them feel stupid or less than, because I know what that feels like now. I’m over the discussion of my personal life, I’m over being mocked with TikToks, it’s all so high school, and sometimes I sit and am so shocked that a place like this would be even more like high school than where I was previously.

Regardless, I’m going to be giving my notice soon, and thats when I will have a lot to say. I don’t think this place, or the people are worth subjecting my mental health over. I have so many great things and people in my life, I feel awful for having to unload my bullshit on the weekly to them. I don’t have to subject myself to this type of behavior, nobody should. And quite frankly, I’m so over having this place affect me when I’m not even on the clock. Ironically, I am grateful for this opportunity. During the initial process, I had my doubts due to some skeletons from my past, but now that I’ve secured this, I know I can secure anything. I truly believe that this was just a stepping stone for something much better.

Anyway, just thought I’d update on my current professional life. I have much to update later this year on love, life, and friendship, which are all much much happier.

Jay