“Hey can I ask you a random question?”

The classic pick up line to gauge someone’s potential interest when out at a bar.

“How long have you been drinking Corona?” The random question that peaked my interest on a curious individual. It worked though. What were silly random questions became deep and thoughtful questions over time. I became intrigued, but little did I know the red flags that progressively became apparent for the weeks to come.

I’m starting to put myself out there again. After so many years of being single, and moping over some guy who has his entire life ahead of him. Trying to date in 2024 is weird. What you think could be a handsome individual you’re into could also come with a lot of baggage and red flags that you quickly discover. I’m glad I can notice these things a lot quicker than my old naive self from years ago who would quickly bat an eye.

I’ll call him, E.

The best connections are the ones that feel familiar. The ones that you’ve known for a couple of weeks, but it feels like years. When E isn’t drunk, he’s hilarious. The way it feels like he understands my sense of humor and sarcasm is special to me, because most don’t understand. We talk and joke about the most random things, it just feels natural. Not to mention his smile is just so great. I love a good a smile.

What was hiding behind that smile and curious eyes? I was so intrigued, and I started to feel these emotions I haven’t felt in awhile. It was exciting getting to know someone new.

If you pay close attention, sometimes you’ll see the demons that good people are fighting. It’s unfortunate, and I can’t help but feel sad for someone that I’ve known for such a short amount of time. Sadly, addiction comes in many forms. Drinking, drugs, sex.

E and I went on an adventure today. Finally, something other than the local gay bar. Today would have been the perfect day if alcohol wasn’t involved. I hate that this is such a common thing when trying to put yourself out there and constantly met with disappointment.

I haven’t written on here in years, and in classic Jay fashion, it’s about a guy.

-Jay